I wanted to talk about Christmas— it’s a wonderful time and, and a lot of people really enjoy it and enjoy the holiday season, however it does bring extra work with it and for those people who have lost loved ones or have people that are sick or dying, pets gone, you know, to the other side, all sorts of things.
What’s going on right now even as we watch, all around the world, financial concerns are also coming up at Christmas. We see this in Paris or in France right now with a yellow vests. Protesters like just saying that the middle class can no longer make ends meet.
We want to get really strong to what I refer to as the authentic self triad. The body, soul and spirit. Getting very balanced in that, going to a place of calm. I just want to talk a little bit about how to get yourself ready for the Christmas season.
Whether you’re hosting or you’re going to another person’s home or you don’t have anywhere to go.
We’re just going to strengthen everybody to all these different possibilities and recognizing that some people are choosing to forgo the circus around the holidays. This will really trigger a lot of people if you say, “I don’t do the tree anymore and I don’t do this and I don’t do that.” They’re like, ah, you know, like, how can you not love Christmas?
It’s not about loving Christmas. It’s about being strong to what you’re doing.
It’s not about loving Christmas. It’s about being strong to what you’re doing. A lot of people go through with Christmas and the New Year and all that. And they end up with the cold and the flu about a month and a half later when the credit card bills start rolling in.
People put themselves under a lot of pressure at Christmas rush regarding getting the perfect gift, all of those things, and especially for those that don’t have the resources to purchase gifts for their children, you know, and then their children are disappointed on Christmas day, and so on. The pets out there that are— end up back in the humane society, weeks after Christmas.
All of these things, these are things that are, are definitely out there and that we can avoid by being strong to what we’re doing.
If people are begrudgingly persisting or they’re really participating or they’re really enjoying it, it’s still at diversion. And the diversion actually starts way back at Halloween around the end of October.
And then we’ve got Thanksgiving and then we’ve got Christmas and then we got new year’s. And if you notice during that three month period, it can be really challenging to get business done because everybody’s away or planning and everybody’s trying to fly on the same day all around the world.
We want to get strong to recognizing that the media and big business are completely unemotional and this is what they do, this is their job: to stir up the emotions for Christmas. A lot of their targeting is directed towards children and teenagers and their parents.
I mean your actual physical body, you’re at home in your body and that if you’re at home in your body, you will be at home in anyone’s home, in your body.
You can actually be in a place where beforehand you just make a choice that regardless of any of the chaos that happens around you, regardless of the distractions and all of the extra excitement. A lot of times what’s coming up is people actually do confuse anxiety with excitement.
And so, I mean, really the whole thing is to get the kids all excited. I remember when I was younger, my mom, she did Christmas and at one time we had four Christmas trees in the house, all decorated in different themes.
We had seven years, seven Christmases in a row where we had sick and dying people…We started a new tradition…
There is like a six week long production of pie making and baking hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of goodies and people coming by the house. My mum loved it.
After my mom passed, I was about five days from Christmas and I just looked at my daughter because she was the only one still with me at the house. And I said to her, you know, I just can’t do Christmas this year. And she said thank God because she didn’t want to fake it.
We had seven years, seven Christmases in a row where we had sick and dying people. We started a new tradition. We went out, we went to get a turtle because Mattie always wanted a turtle and we decorated its tank with crystals.
My friends and I will gather on Christmas Eve around three or 4:00 to go to the mall and watch the men shop at the last minute and we eat French fries, chocolate and we don’t care.
It’s fun to watch. It’s fun to watch because I used to be that person that had to get the perfect gift for everybody or Christmas would be ruined, you know, and you watch this and you just realize when you’re sitting there watching it, how silly it is.
A lot of people get imprinted with dates, dates get stuck in them, and then the emotion of that date stays with them.
I’ve never gone back to the graves of my mum, my dad, grandparents
And so whenever that date comes back up, a year later, 19 years later, whatever it is, then the emotions come back.
We can keep the memory in tact of events and people and all that, but neutralize the emotion so that if you do think about these people or you do remember that it’s their date of death or whatever it may be, it doesn’t weaken you. It’s just a fact, it’s just a historical fact.
I like that viewpoint because it sounds like a lot more fun. I’ve never gone back to the graves of my mum, my dad, grandparents, though they were just four blocks from my house and some people might think that’s disrespectful, I prefer to think of them free and when we allow ourselves to start grieving and celebrate their life, I feel that it’s a stronger way to deal with it.
People notice the triggers ahead of time. A lot of times just thinking about things—like a lot of people are dreading making that trip out to see the family. If we noticed that we’re triggered before the event even happens, we can really center ourselves.
We can send out a lot of the emotions, a lot of people don’t know how to do this quite yet. By the time you get there, you’re gonna find that it’s going to be different, maybe it’ll be different than last year or that person you don’t like didn’t show up or maybe they did show up, but they were very calm, are much more gentle than they were in the past. So by being aware of our triggers ahead of time, we can really solve a lot.
Recognize a lot of times we don’t see these people for a year and so probably a lot has happened in a year for them. I know a lot has happened in a year
for me, so if I allow myself to be in place where I’m open minded and I allow that person to present themselves in a different fashion and allow myself to present myself differently, a lot of times when families get together, I find that they revert to old family patterns.
I see both sides of it and I’m encouraged by the size, by the things that change and I get frustrated or annoyed at times where the things they haven’t changed.
I’ve learned to get much more neutral over the years and even in the last couple of years. I’ve found myself a lot more accepting of everybody and their personality types and all that kind of stuff. And just understanding how they work and how they talk and not taking things personally.
Listen to the rest of the show as Colette Stefen talks about Christmas traditions, getting neutral and more on Transformation Talk Radio.